Random Blog A Musing Farf

Wednesday, November 14, 2007


Growing up, Thanksgiving was always my most favorite holiday. Besides the oodles and oodles of food, it was a chance to see my cousins and for the entire family – sometimes close to 40 of us – get together and spend some time together.

When I met Husband, he told me that Thanksgiving was one of his most favorite holidays as well. His mom cooks dinner for everyone and his entire family - there are 12 of them – get together for some quality time.

And thus began the holiday split. My family eats dinner around 2pm so we spend Wednesday night at my parents house, wake up there Thursday morning and around 4:30pm, we say good-bye to everyone and drive 45 minutes to Husband’s parents’ house where we have a second dinner and spend the night. Then we spend all of Friday and most of Saturday with Husband’s family, before heading back to have dinner on Saturday night with the folks in my family who were unable to make Thanksgiving on Thursday and drive back to NY with my Dad on Sunday. Sound exhausting? It is.

Neither Husband nor I were very happy with this arrangement. We both felt we did not get to spend enough time at either house and felt torn between the two. I love my in-laws and want to see them as much as possible, but I also want to see my cousins, aunts, and various family friends that spend Thanksgiving with us.

So, this year, we got a bright idea. Why were we schlepping between houses? Why weren’t we alternating? (Yes, neither of us are very smart since it took us almost 5 years to come up with this plan). So, we announced that this year is the last year we will be spending time in both houses. Next year, we will pick a house for Thanksgiving and the other family will get us the following year. We will still spend time with both families over the extended weekend, but the actual day of Thanksgiving will no longer be split. Which family goes first? Maybe we will flip a coin. Maybe we will coordinate so that we overlap holidays with my cousin Ado, who also needs to alternate with his partner’s family. I am not really so concerned about that right now.

And, if anyone asks me what I am thankful for this year, it is that next year (and every following year) should be a much more relaxing holiday…


Suzanne said...

Ah very wise. This is why living far from one of the families makes life much easier. Although sometimes you want to spend Thanksgiving with pseudo family in a foreign country. Yay friends!

wingin' it said...

I keep telling L that his family of 4 should just do Thanksgiving on Saturday. Sounds like a great solution...but he's not budging. Oh well. At least his mother is a great cook.

mara clarke said...

This is why it pays to marry a non-Jew (hey honey, Thanksgiving with my family and Christmas at yours - it's only fair), or a non-American, or in my case both.... You are lucky to have such understanding families. My cousin (the nice one) has been trying to get Thanksgiving at her house and not at her step-mom's friends house, for years . . . . (and any time you want to skip T Day in the US, you are welcome to come have it in London . . . . )