STUPID PEOPLE KEEP GETTING PUBLICITY

There were three news stories that caught my attention today and my obsession with them will probably be the reason that once again I work late instead of going to the gym which costs an absurd amount of money each month.

1. The first was an article found at CNN.com, which basically says that DNA evidence proves that Jonathan Karr could not have been the one who murdered JonBenet Ramsey.

Ten years ago, my co-workers and I were obsessed with this story. We spent many an hour on the company dime coming up with theories about who really killed JonBenet (one popular theory was that her parents did it in some sort of accidental way and then tried to cover it up) and being both fascinated and repulsed by children in pageants. Friend is appalled by my interest in this story and, whenever the topic comes up, angrily proclaims that when a child of color is murdered, no one cares. Now while I do not doubt that race does play a role in the media’s continuing interest, I think it has equally as much to do with the fact that JonBenet’s parents hired a publicist back when this all happened and that the pictures of the little dead girl were just so, well, disturbing. I mean, if you dress your child up like a doll, how mad can you be when someone accidentally twists off the doll’s head?

I digress. The point is that the DNA of the alleged killer does not match that of self-confessed murderer Jonathan Karr. Of course, knowing this would happen, Karr already announced that if the DNA did not match, it was because “you can't trust the test." Now I get to come up with new theories as to why an innocent man would plead guilty to killing a doll…I mean child. Anyone else think he would rather spend time for murder in the US jail then be convicted of kiddie porn charges in Thailand?

2. The next was about a women letting her dog drive, which is something I read on those little monitors in the elevator that keep you from having to look anyone else in the eye.

Now, those who know me know that I think my dog is the smartest little guy in the entire world (this despite the fact he peed on my carpet yesterday because he refuses to go outside in the rain) but COME ON! How stupid do you have to be to let your dog take the wheel? The woman (identified only as Li) claims that her dog always watched her drive so she thought he was ready to try. Hmmm, does that mean if Tiki watches me when I have sex with Husband, I should let him try it next time? Please. On the other hand, there is the stereotype that Asians are bad drivers, so maybe Li thought the dog would do better.

3. The last issue is Katherine Harris’ comment “if you're not electing Christians then in essence you are going to legislate sin.”

That is awesome. Seriously. It is so absurd that any comment I have almost takes away from the humor. I wonder what Joe Lieberman thinks about this. Even her own party won’t support her. I used to despise her and blame her for taking the election away from Al Gore, but how can you wish someone to go away when they provide so much amusement?