IT'S NOT IN THE KETUBAH, BUT IT'S STILL A PROMISE

Husband is an Associate in Big Corporate Law Firm. Like most similarly situated folks, he dreams of running away to a better life. (Cue Bon Jovi "Living On a Prayer" here). One where people do not glare at you if you leave work before 10pm and where Partners do not expect you to be available by cell and Blackberry during your honeymoon. I am an Associate at Small Liberal Law Firm. One where people feel bad for you if you work until 10pm and people with young children tend not to work on Fridays. Our salaries reflect the differences in our jobs. So do our attitudes about work. I really like my job and plan on staying for a long time (unless I win the lottery and then I am OUT!).

People who work at Big Corporate Law Firm or other similar institutions always ask me about my choice of working at Small Liberal Law Firm, only they do it in such a way as to suggest it was not really a choice - as though they can’t fathom why anyone would be a lawyer if not to make oodles of money. I would love to make oodles of money (hey, I am not totally selfless) but since you spend so much time at work, why not like what you do, right? On the other hand, I am really lucky since Husband’s job at Big Corporate Law Firm lets me enjoy a style of life I would not otherwise be able to afford.

Note: Contrary to what people have actually said to me, I am not working at Small Liberal Law Firm because I did not do well in law school. I went to law school because I wanted to work at Small Liberal Law Firm.

But then, last night, I was thinking that the work you do matters much less than the people who work with you. I am honest to goodness friends with some of the people with whom I work. Not mandatory social obligation friends like most people are with colleagues. Take Photogenic Friend: I met him while interning at Small Liberal Law Firm (he was an Associate), stayed in touch while I worked at Local Union for a year before coming back to Small Liberal Law Firm. Husband and I pretty much hang out with Photogenic Friend and Photogenic Wife at least once a week outside of work. (Seriously, you will never meet two people who consistently look better in photos). And there is Stitch, my former boss at Local Union. Stitch is a smart, creative lawyer who was a great teacher. Despite my abandonment of the job at a very inopportune time and general distain for his authority, Stitch became an excellent friend. But maybe people self-select…

Both Stitch (as my boss at Local Union) and Partners at Small Liberal Law Firm understand the importance of family – even if they had to learn it the hard way – and encourage those who work for them to spend time outside the office doing things that make them happy. Partners at Big Corporate Law Firm seem to think Associates should spend all their time at the office. In both cases, the Associates’ attitudes tend to mirror those who taught them.

Last night Husband was at home with me (which was such a nice treat, except that he was only home because the Partner for whom he had been working told Husband that he could not leave on his planned trip to Las Vegas because there was work to be done) and, as we sat on the couch commenting on the outfits being designed by Project Runway contestants and laughing about nothing in particular, I thought about the apartment we rent, the lifestyle we live and the vacations we take. Then I thought about how I would give it all up in a heartbeat for more nights at home laughing on the couch with Husband.

So, I publicly make this pledge to Husband. I will support you. Become a chef. Become a photographer. Go to work in-house for a corporation at a lower salary. Do what makes you happy and as long as we have more nights like last night, I will never complain.