FOR TANNY

Despite my last post, it just occurred to me that there is one issue where people do consider me somewhat of an expert: Abortion rights. Unfortunately, I have also started employing the same ignore the news tactic when it comes to abortion rights. I stopped following legislation because, again, no one seems to care about my letters and my representatives in Congress vote the way I would want so I am really only preaching to the choir. Sure, I still help to run Haven Coalition (with the help of the fabulous Suzanne who was, incidentally, published in the Metro today on a non-abortion related topic) and arrange housing for women coming to NY for second trimester abortions, but I am not an active participant in the pro-choice community and no one at a NYAAF conference would know me by name. I am actually okay with that. I don’t consider what we do to be very radical or cutting egde – just pragmatic and frankly, I hate all those “rah-rah, let’s march on Washington” folks.

Yesterday I spoke with a woman named Tanny, who needed to come to NY for a second trimester abortion. She was 23 ½ weeks pregnant and this week was pretty much her last shot at an abortion before it was too late. In keeping with the Haven policy, I did not ask her why she waited or make any judgments. She was waiting for emergency funding to come through to help her pay for the procedure and in desperate need of a place to stay. I told her that if she came to NY, we would provide housing – even if she did not end up at one of the clinics with which we usually coordinate. I was incredibly impressed with her resourcefulness and lined up housing for her. She was supposed to arrive this morning for a 9am appointment. At 3pm, I called the clinic and asked if she still needed housing. The social worker told me that she had not come to NY because at the last minute her funding fell through.

I can’t help but feel responsible. I had the Haven phone turned off yesterday (we do not host patients on Monday nights) and today, when I checked the voice mail, there was a message from Tanny. In the message, she pleaded for a return phone call and asked if there was any way she could be housed Monday night. (We had no hosts, but I probably would have just done it myself). She also asked if there was anyone who could donate the last few hundred dollars to fund her procedure. Sure there were. The Haven volunteers are nothing if not generous. Besides, after spending a ridiculous sum to throw my dog a birthday party, I could talk to Husband about helping me out with funds for a more worthy cause. But, I did not answer the phone and Tanny never came to NY.

So, I write this as a public apology. My head is back out of the sand and the phone is always on. I am sorry for letting you down Tanny.