Random Blog A Musing Farf

Tuesday, October 16, 2007


This weekend was a lesson in parenting. Husband and I hosted my best friend from high school, her husband and their two children (the older is my most brilliant and beautiful goddaughter) for a long weekend: 1000 sq. feet , 6 people, and two dogs. It was loud and crowded and I will likely be wiping little fingerprints from countertops for a long time. And, while I adore the entire family, I was not unhappy when they left. I needed the quiet.

Generally, Husband and I spend weekends at home, catching up on reading and maybe watching a little television. We are generally quiet folks while at home (or at least our neighbors have never complained about noise) and we had no idea what was in store. First of all, children wake up really early. Even when they stay up late, they wake up early – the staying up late just means that they wake up cranky. And, they have no idea how to whisper. I am exhausted.

But, we also had a lot of fun. I will go to extraordinary lengths to hear a two year old giggle and really, there is nothing better than watching a movie on the couch with two children snuggled into your lap. And, Husband and I loved having conversations with my goddaughter (who is, as she will tell you, not just four, but four and a half!). Both kids were good natured, adorable and, we think, brilliant.

Husband and I want to have a baby and have been trying for several months without luck so far. I spoke to my friend about this (who was convinced that a weekend with her children would push back family planning by several years) and she suggested that I attend a “fertility circle” with a group of women she knows. According to my friend, they have a 100% success rate within 3 months. I have to admit, for a second I was tempted. Fertility without needles and/or drugs? I am a big believe that positive energy accomplishes many things and I was tempted to try out the fertility circle on the theory that it could not do any harm.

I was sort of worried about convincing Husband to go along with something like this and I asked my friend how other women approached their potentially skeptical partners about participating. It was at this point that my friend told me that no men were allowed. Basically, a group of women partake in a ritual and send positive energy to the woman trying to conceive. Then, her fertility increases.

Hmmm. That would make sense, but it takes two to make a baby (at least, if you are trying the old fashioned way, which we are) and we have no idea which one of us is the reason it is taking longer than we originally planned. The feminist in me is all riled about this. I can have all the positive energy in the world and be incredibly fertile, but if Husband is not, a baby is not happening (enter Stephen Colbert…sigh… ooops, I digress). So, on that basis (or until a medical doctor says it is all my issues), I am not sure that the point of the fertility circle really is. Thus, since I can’t see the point, I am not schlepping more than 2 hours in order to attend one.

Maybe while I was learning about parenting, my friend should have been learning about feminism….


Suzanne said...

Ah, you should talk to my friend Dr. H, the OB/GYN resident. My friend Hanah asked her for some tips on how to get the whole baby-making thing to work, and not long after that, she was pregnant...

mara clarke said...

I have complete faith that you and husband will someday have a wonderful child of your own. And when you do, I can assure you that the fun of parenting far outweighs the weekend lie-ins. Well, usually. It helps to have Dad take the little one or ones out to run errands or whatever one weekend morning per week so you can sleep - I used to love seeing all the dads and kids at Fairway on Saturday mornings. In the meantime, I hope you two are well recovered from the visit by the time my crew arrives . . . .