Random Blog A Musing Farf

Tuesday, December 12, 2006


If I had to pick an age to go back to, I would not go back that far. Actually, I would stick right where I am, but there is no way I would want to be younger than 28 or 29. It wasn’t until that time that I became the person I am today, became truly comfortable in my own skin and with the choices I make. Plus, it really wasn’t until my late 20’s or early 30’s that I started to like all my friends.

Yesterday, I received an email from Mara, a woman with whom I became friends through Haven Coalition. Mara was the Coordinator before Suzanne and I took over and she now lives with her husband and about to be born fetus in London. (We miss you Mara!). Anyway, Mara forwarded Suzanne and I an email in which she stated that she wanted to nominate us as Pro-Choice leaders for our work with Haven. It’s a nice acknowledgement of all the work we do and I was excited Mara wanted to nominate us. But, upon closer reading, it turned out you weren’t eligible unless you were under 30.

I was temporality bummed until the Haven phone rang last night with a New York Times reporter. As the year-end was nearing, they wanted to run a soft news piece about New York’s most influential women. Very excited to be chosen, I told the reporter all about Haven and the changes under Suzanne and my leadership. (For example, we are incorporated, tax exempt and have opened up hosting to men as well as women and began working with even more clinics in NY then before – very exciting stuff). The reporter kept me on the phone for over an hour, asking all sorts of questions and promised to call back in the morning with more details as to the focus of the piece and when it would run. When she called back this morning, it was to apologize. Suzanne and I were not going to be in the story after all. It turns out that it is not about New York’s most influential women – just those influential women under 30.

Suzanne is about to be 31 and, in March, I will be 32. We are hardly old and still refer to people our parent’s age as “grown-ups.” I would not have had time to be so active in Haven before I was 30. I was too busy with law school, job interviews and just figuring out who I want to be. I suppose most people are that way. Maybe that’s why it is only news if you do great things before you turn 30 – because in some way it means you are ahead of the curve is figuring out your life.

So, no Pro-Choice award, no New York Times mention. I suppose I will just have to content myself with going back to doing what I do for the same reasons I started in the first place, because it is the kind of thing I want to define me, whether or not it is publicly mentioned.


Mara said...

BAAAAAAAAHHH! How frustrating! That is truly disappointing. See, I get the argument that perhaps younger women need more motivating. But in the pro choice movement, it seems there are mainly 2 groups of women - college aged and a little past, and the old schoolers, who were there for Roe v Wade. I think there is a huge gap in activists who are in their 30s and 40s. This is when a lot of women are juggling some combination of marriages, kids and careers, not to mention lives. I think we who fall into that age range deserve awards, too! And mentions in the New York Times.

ps - I miss you guys too. Remember that I am only a phone call away, even if I am not sister.

Suzanne said...

This pisses me off the more I think about it because it is anther way that our stupid society values youth, particularly in women, over experience. I'm glad that the work we do for Haven is only worthy if we are young and preferably photogenic. Ha! If they'd pay attention to us hags, they'd see that you are very photogenic, and I would pose alongside you as the butch dyke. I still look sort of young. Harumph.

chandra said...


I like all profiles taht begin with..." when i was a child..."

come, lets meet up at my place ;


warm wishes