HAPPY BIRTHDAY MONTH TO ME

It’s my birthday month. I will turn 32 on the 23rd. I kind of like it. Someone told me when I turned 23 that it was my golden year (23 on the 23rd), so this is a reverse “Golden Year.” And thirty-two makes me officially old to my younger self. From the time I was 7 until I was about 29, I kept a diary. Even in my late 20’s, there were lists of things I wanted to accomplish by “the time I am old, like 32.” Yikes. That is disturbing to read.

But when do I start to feel like a grown-up? Husband and I are planning all sorts of grown-up things such as buying a house and having a baby (no, Mother and MiL, I am not pregnant so don’t get all excited), I am a lawyer and co-Director of Haven Coalition, an all volunteer pro-choice group. On paper, I am certainly an adult, but just this past weekend I spent several minutes attempting to race the garage door by pushing the door close button from inside the garage and then trying to run out before it closed. Every time I made it safely (there was an unfortunate incident involving the recycling bin that held me up for a few precious seconds the first time) I giggled and tried again. Not very adult. Then, I went into the backyard with Tiki and chucked snowballs at him which he tried to catch in his mouth. I think I was having more fun then he was.

Sure, there have been some changes. I like to go to bed by 11pm – even on weekends. Instead of a major birthday party, this year I am opting for dinner with some close friends. Just something totally low-key. In fact, until Sister and Husband mentioned it, I had forgotten to plan anything, totally unlike me. I am having dinner at my favorite steakhouse in the entire world on the 23rd with Photogenic Friend to celebrate *his* birthday (on the 25th) and, for the first time in years, I have no plans to take my birthday off work in order to go to a spa. In fact, I have an arbitration scheduled that day.

As I write about the ways in which I have become more grown-up, I can’t help but think about the fact that I still sleep with a teddy bear and the same blanket that was in the crib as a baby. I giggle at knock-knock jokes and think a hot fudge sundae is a perfectly acceptable alternative to dinner. I jump over sidewalk cracks whenever possible and my new goal (having conquered the garage door) is to be able to hop on one foot the entire length of the Museum of Natural History.

So, I am not sure if my younger self would consider me an adult or still a child. I certainly don’t feel all grown-up, but then, I wonder if anyone ever does. And, while, if I win the lottery tonight I would likely use some of the winnings to buy stock, it would most certainly be in a company like Hagen-Daaz, as long as dividends came in the form of pints.