SPRING CLEANING

I know it’s been a while since I have sat down to write anything and I am going to try and be better about it, but work has been really busy lately and my real-life volunteer activities have taken over so much of my life that finding time to sit and write has become impossible. Plus, when the weather is nice, I will do anything I can to be outside instead of in front of a computer.

This weekend, Husband was out of town and Tiki the Wonder Dog and I spent all day both Saturday and Sunday in each other’s company. We played in the yard, went to long walks and even worked on learning new skills in a freeshaping class organized by the ever fabulous Jenna. (Note: Poor Tiki had walked about half the length of Manhattan that day and slept through most of class). We also cleaned out my closets. Tiki was actually really helpful in this as he provided me company and happily ripped up any old clothes that were thrown on the floor. He even pounced on a bug that got into the apartment, thus protecting me from any potential attacks by MOUS (Millipedes of Unusual Size).

When I cleaned my closets, I got rid of all sorts of clothes and shoes that I knew I would never wear again. I made a pile for donations – clothes/shoes that no longer fit or are in good shape but out of style – and a pile for trash – clothes/shoes that were in such poor condition that they could not be worn. I spent about 10 hours on this project and by the end, my drawers and closets were in perfect order. Husband came home and I proudly showed off my work, only to have him remark, “I didn’t know they were a mess before so I don’t notice the difference.”

But really, I did more then just clean out my closets this weekend, I also did some major thinking about where I am in life, where I want to be and what was holding me back. And, while cleaning out the clutter in my closets, I also cleaned out the clutter in my life.

Not unlike my closets, unless you looked really closely, you could not see that there were areas of my life that were messy. But I knew it and dealing with the clutter kept me from concentrating on the things I love.

So, I made amends with P (who really seems to be getting better). I let go of my anger about her behavior leading up to my wedding and tossed it out along with the cute Steven Madden shoes that has so many holes the cobbler would not even try to fix them. I also made an important decision not to teach SCUBA this summer. I love diving, but was really sick of teaching classes so this summer, when I go diving, it will be because I want to be in the water. I had forgotten why I loved the sport until I finally realized I could do it for fun again. Now I can’t wait to get back into the water.

I also took a small step back from Haven Coalition in that I am not going to work the phone this month. Sure, I still help run the group, but not having to deal with clinics calling this month is a welcome break. It’s been years since I have taken even the tiniest hiatus and, although with the recent and unfortunate Supreme Court decision, it is probably not the best time to do this, it is better for my mental health. Plus, it’s leaving me free to concentrate on some of the reorganization that Haven needs. And while we are on the topic of stepping back – this will be the last semester I help Stitch teach his class. Too much work and he gets all the glory (and pay). I don’t have time for this anymore.

Finally, I have realized that being part of two volunteer groups (NYC Shiba Rescue and Haven Coalition) is as much as I can handle. I am not even going to pretend to be part of the book club whose meetings I never attended, I stopped volunteering to fundraise for political candidates (always hated doing that anyway) and decided to spent my free time doing things I love.

Would someone who met me know that I felt there was too much clutter in my life? No. But its nice to not only realize what I need to do (or not do) to be content while also coming to the realization that I just don’t look good in red.