ME: IN 500 WORDS OR LESS

I remember back a few (okay, more like 15) years ago, when I was applying to college. There was so much paperwork to gather, letters of recommendation to obtain and personal statements to write. Then, when I applied to law school, I had to do the entire process all over again. When I got into law school, I breathed a sigh of relief that my application days were over. It just seemed so unfair that I would be judged on the basis of some papers that really did not give a peak into who I really am.

But now, in my attempt to purchase an apartment (or rather, in NYC, shares in a corporation which will give me the right to lease a certain apartment through the co-op), I am faced with the same thing. Husband and I each needed four letters of recommendation from friends (preferably who were already co-op shareholders), current bank statements (and not the kind you can pull off-line, but actual paper statements), a personal statement and various other documents.

But, none of these reflect who I am. For example, according to my broker, neither the letters of recommendation nor the personal statement are supposed to mention dogs – and not just owning them, but I am not supposed to mention my work with NYC Shiba Rescue (made you look, Jenna!) or my classes to become a dog trainer – or politics. I also can’t mention controversial subjects like abortion, so talking about my work for Haven is out. And, while you are supposed to mention that you cheer for local sports teams, I can not mention that those teams are the Mets, Giants and Rangers. Apparently there may be an anti-dog, anti-choice person on the Board who roots for the Braves, Eagles and Devils who would then black-list me from the building.

So the letters and personal statements are just hollow and generic, which is too bad. If I were on the Board, I would much rather hear about a person who was passionate about their causes and teams (even if I disagreed with their opinions) and, as a person who is making a family dinner tonight in order to celebrate Tiki the Wonder Dog’s second birthday (happy birthday Tiki!), I would appreciate living near someone who was equally as passionate about their animal companion, even if such a companion were a rabbit or goldfish.

But, I guess this way I have a better chance of getting accepted to live in the building. Just like in applying to college and law school, when my applications made me sound serious and academically motivated, I was forced to wait until after the acceptance to be myself. So, once I am moved in, I can be the real me. But this time, I am really serious when I vow to never go through an application process again.