MY FAVORITE SISTER STORIES

I received permission from Sister last night to post a few of her brain freeze stories. My favorites (excepting the LAM(B) story and “I teached English” told an earlier post) are below. All of these stories happened when she was working at her first post-college job at a Wall Street investment firm.

THE KENTUCKY DERBY

A little background is needed for this story. Sister used to be quite an accomplished horseback rider and competed on equestrian shows on a regular basis while in elementary and middle school.

Co-Worker: I am going to the Kentucky Derby.
Sister: Ugh. So awful.
Co-Worker: Really? I am excited. It seems fun.
Sister: All those red-necks freaks drinking beer and screaming? How is that fun?
Co-Worker: Do you know what the Kentucky Derby is?
Sister (very smugly): Of course I do. It’s a monster truck event.

Hilarious laughing ensues.

BONY

This one is Husband’s all time favorite.

Sister receives an email from her boss asking her a series of work-related questions. Sister does not know the answers to any and writes back to her boss to let her know. Her boss writes back and tells her to ask BONY these questions. Sister is stumped. So, she walks up to the skinniest guy is the office (he is rail thin) and proceeds to ask him the questions posed in the email. Skinny Guy has no idea and wants to know why Sister would even ask him these questions, as they are unrelated to his field of expertise. Sister shows him the emails exchange with her boss. At which point, Skinny Guy glares and Sister and replies, “Bank of New York, asshole,” as he walks off.

Hilarious laughing ensues.

BEAVER

The following conversation happens as Sister walks into work wearing her new coat with a beaver collar.

Co-Worker (holding up a PETA envelope): How can you wear that thing? Do you know what this is?
Sister: Sure. People for Ethical Treatment of Animals. But you are a hypocrite because you wear leather and I’ve seen you eat meat.
Co-Worker: Yes, but I use the whole cow.
Sister (extremely indignant): Well, how do you know I don’t eat beaver?

Co-Worker turns bright red and Sister realizes what she just said.

Hilarious laughing ensues.

The beaver story was a family favorite for years and, not long after it happened, Sister and I were at dinner with our extended family and the story was told. Nana S. had never heard the story and seemed very impressed with Sister’s comeback. She even went so far as to loudly exclaim, “Yes. The whole world should know my grand-daughter eats beaver!” At this point, my aunt Meme whispered the meaning of that statement into Nana S’s ear. Nana S. immediately got quiet and announced to the table, “Well, I didn’t know that!”

Even more hilarious laughing ensues.

Thanks, Sister for leting me share these. Life would be a lot less funny if you were not around!