Random Blog A Musing Farf

Thursday, September 07, 2006


I love the Shakira song Hips Don’t Lie. Except it got me thinking about my own hips and how I hate them. Someone once told me that a woman can never change the length of her calf or the width of her hips, but I have proven them wrong. I made my hips much bigger.

I am on an eating binge. There can be no other way to describe it. Maybe instead of anorexia, I should be shooting for bulimia – except that I hate throwing up and my desire to be thin is almost equal to my desire for strong white teeth and good breath, neither of which bulimia offers to me. Yesterday I met G____ and High School Friend for dinner at a great Mexican place around the corner from my apartment. I quickly consumed 3 margaritas, guacamole, nachos, queso fundido and a Chili Relleno. Then, because I was afraid to go home in case the mouse was in the trap, I invited G____ and High School friend over to my place where we consumed about a bottle of red wine each. Seriously delicious and serious calories.

So today I decided I would eat properly and exercise. Except that for lunch I had macaroni and cheese, chicken, Cesar Salad and a Snapple. Husband is heading to Vegas tonight so hopefully I can find something healthy to eat for dinner, but the food damage has been done. Plus (despite my posts which may indicate the contrary) I am pretty busy at work so the gym is likely not an option.

I am beginning to panic. And of course, panic causes me to eat. I have SWCNBN’s wedding in slightly more than a month and want to weigh 10 pounds less. How can I do this when I can’t stop eating??? And, it’s not just my poor body image this time that is convincing me I am fat. My clothes are tighter. In fact, my jeans are leave lines on my thighs and waist. This is very bad and yet I can’t stop myself. And now I ate chocolate that Law Firm Partner brought back from vacation. In fact, I just ate two more pieces. How am I going to make it though the weekend and still fit through the doorframe? It is a sad state of affairs when I look forward to fasting on Yom Kippur so that I will be prohibited by G-d from eating.

I know some people with for world peace or an end to disease, but really, all I wish for is to look good in the new fall fashions.


Suzanne said...

I know you don't see it, but you are one of my thinnest friends. Really. You look great. If you lost 10 lbs., you would be scary. I'd have to start referring to you as Ribsy. I hate when women's ribs jut out. You wouldn't want that, right?

PS - What Mexican place are you talking about? Senor Swanky's?
PPS - You are also eating a lot because you are on the rag. It will go away.

Sara said...

Cafe Frita. So freaking good!

New Mom said...

Sara, darling, we all have days like that! Mine, unfortunately, have lasted 21/2 years. Doctor yelled at me for gaining 15 lbs. over the last 2 years. Didn't tell him I dieted and lost 4 lbs. before my examine thinking I'd be svelt in the 3 days I starved myself.
Advice: Binge carefully! Don't let it get too out of control.
Love and hugs (can I still get my arms around you?).
New Mom